A dream that seemed unreachable

My life and future was in God's hands. He had given me a dream of marrying a godly man called to preach and raising a family together. But that dream seemed so far away.

There were no suitable preacher boy's anywhere to be found or so it seemed. I trusted God to meet my needs on a daily basis but it seemed like my faith was growing dim in this area. It had seemed like God had forgotten about me. Other ladies around me had found their "prince" and were preparing to live out their dreams. My dream seemed so real, I could play it out in my mind. But when I looked in the face of my dream man his face was blank.

I was 25 years old and that just seemed so ancient to be single. I spent my days taking care of precious little babies. But the problem was they were other people's babies. I enjoyed caring for them and I had plenty of love to share among the nursery. But I'd often wonder while rocking a sleeping baby or playing with one if my dream of being a momma would ever come true.

It can be discouraging waiting for something to happen that seems so far away. When you are low or discouraged the devil likes to try to keep you in that state. It's hard to serve God when you are so focused on what you don't have rather than what you do have.

In Hebrew 13:5 (KJV) it says,
"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."

I had seen God work miracles in my life and meet needs that seemed utterly hopeless. And I knew that if I fully placed this area of my life in his hands and just go on and serve him, he'd work it all out in his timing.

I determined that I was going to live for Christ even if I never married or became a momma. God knew better than I did, and his plan was what I wanted not my own.

I wasn't going to fall for any guy that called himself a Christian. The devil's imposter's wore suits and ties too. I had given my heart to God for safe keeping. And I asked him to protect it from anyone who wasn't his will. And I knew he'd do just that. I didn't wanna give my heart away to so many guys that when Mr. Right did come along I only had a piece left to give him. Let's just say all the waiting, praying, and guarding was not in vain.

If you are in a period of waiting, whether it be waiting for Mr. Right, or a baby, or whatever it may be, don't lose heart. God's answers are never late. He always shows up right on time.

I'll explain in the next post how God worked to bring one of the dreams to pass, at least at that time. At the present time, all of my dreams have come true.

God is good

I just want to take a few minutes and thank the Lord for His goodness. It amazes me that He knows my failures, mistakes, and everything about me yet He loves me anyways! I'm not everything I should be, but I'm not what I used to be. I used to be hopeless, helpless, and a walking dead man. Christ reached down to a 15 year old who saw life as pointless, who was ready to give up because the empty void was too hard to bear and he saved me and gave me a reason to live. And Christ is that reason. He filled that emptiness with purpose. And since that day I've never been the same. I've never had to search for meaning or purpose because Christ is all I need and he's never let me down. He's my life, my breath, and my song in the night! I'm thankful that in these uncertain times that we live in I don't have to fret because my Father is in control. He taught me early on in my Christian walk that I could trust him. And I'm glad my life is in his hands.

I didn't grow up in a Christian home and I'm so thankful that my kids have the opportunity to grow up in a godly home and go to a Bible preaching church. It's a precious thing talking to my kids about God and singing songs about Jesus. I just pray that they won't take it for granted but truly have a heart for the things of God. And give their hearts and lives to Christ at a young age. We are blessed with this opportunity to tenderly guide them in the things of God and may we not fail. But take every opportunity to teach them about God.

Craziness of Mondays!

Over the weekend we are often busy and my house looks like a disaster area by the time Monday comes around. As I'm sure a lot of people's do. The goals I had set for the day seemed unreachable. The clothes were multiplying every time I walked past them, and the kids were fussy off and on. I wrote Robert and told him, there's no way I can get everything done. I'm glad I have an understanding husband. But I started to think about Philippians 4:13 as I added another load to the washer. 'I can do all things through Christ..' and I was sure that even doing the daily duties of house work applied to that verse. And for once my goal for the day didn't quite seem unreachable. As any mom knows, you can't just clean straight through, you have to constantly stop to care for the kids. So finally both kids took a nap at the same time and I was able to fold all the laundry, which would have been overwhelming on a normal day but not since I thought about Philippians 4:13. And I'm happy to end this story with the victory of having accomplished all of the housework and laundry. On a normal Monday I wouldn't be able to finish. So I'm thankful that we can apply Bible verses to our every day tasks and seemly it makes the load lighter. The Bible is a living word, and I'm thankful that it works in my heart and life on a daily basis.

Picture day!!

I love taking pictures of my family! It's a challenge getting them to sit still and look at me. Getting them to smile is the easy part. Today we went to Portrait Innovation to get our family pictures taking. I have the hardest time picking clothes out for pictures. But I think I actually did a good job! Yay!!!
We had pictures and no one had spit up or any other unwanted object on their clothes so that's a blessing! Jojo was fussy before pictures but did good during the session. It's funny to me how the photographer tries so hard to keep Josiah's fingers out of his mouth and they end up being the ones I like better! Everyone did good, I even smiled! Abby would not kiss Jojo in the pictures like requested but oh well. I'm sitting here in the rocking chair. ( it seems to be my favorite spot at night) admiring our new family picture. Thank God for my family and the memories made.

Reflections from my day

As I sit here holding my sweet sleeping baby, my mind goes back over the events of the day. Nothing out of the ordinary happened today. Woke up to my two smiling babies. Which is such a sweet blessing! I am so thankful that my husband works and provides for us so I can stay home. I worked in day care for years and I'm grateful that I don't have to leave my kids with other people and miss so much. I have the opportunity to embrace every moment, even the crazy ones. I stay home, but that doesn't mean I sit on the couch and watch tv all day. It's quite the opposite. It seems like I work all day cleaning just to look around hours later and say, "You can't tell it but I did clean all day." Sometimes it's obvious all the work I put into the house. But I have a 19 month old who loves getting into everything and a 4 month old who doesn't like when I leave the room. Sometimes you can't look around and see what I did because you can't see the heart. And I'm trying to live each day leaving an impression on my kids hearts that'll last a life time. As I sit in the rocking chair, there's toys on the floor and maybe even dishes in the sink, ( which I'm not proud of). I want a clean house as much as anyone but I don't want my kids to remember me as the mom who spent more time cleaning than with them. Sometimes my priorities are out of order. I feel like I've failed time and time again, not just my kids but my husband. I have this picture of the perfect wife and mom and I come nowhere close to that lady. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed at the huge responsibility that I have as a wife and mom. I just don't want to waste the precious time I have with my family, because I can never get today back. I don't want to look back years from now and regret so much. I need to be more balanced and just enjoy my time more. There will always be cleaning to do but I won't ever get this moment back. That's why sometimes I have to forget the dishes so I can read a story or whatever. At the close of this day I just want to thank my God for giving me the life I've always dreamed of and never giving up on me even though I fail so much. Life is precious and I'm thankful that He is my life and He's put precious people in my life to share each day with.